I had been thinking about this for some time and was planning to write about it here on my blog. But, what motivated me to actually begin writing, was a dream I had last night. In the dream, I was at some kind of gathering, like a family reunion, and I was having a really bad time. I wanted to shut out all of the people and the commotion, so I curled up on the couch and put a blanket over my head (something I've been doing in "real life" some lately). My siblings were attentive and wanted to understand what was going on, and even my psychologist was there. I wanted to to tell them how I felt and that there was nothing to fear, but I couldn't express my feelings. I wasn't afraid or despairing, I was just so very, profoundly, sad. At the end of the dream, someone touched my hand, soothingly, and I immediately had an image of that touch on my vulva.
Today I'm very comfortable with my psychological and emotional status, and I'm grateful that I had the help and encouragement to be at peace with myself. I know I'll learn and change and grow for the rest of my life. I also know that my past, and all that I've lived through, has made me who I am today. It's given me depth and compassion and helped to form my own personal style, perspective, and magic.
Life is such an amazing gift. In spite of all the struggles and traumas, I'm glad to be alive, and I'm very glad to be me! If you've had similar insights, or if my experience resonates with you, I'd love to hear your comments.